Your Advertisement

My ad is for Old Spice products. In this particular advertisement, football player turned actor Isaiah Mustafa is seen in the center of the ad, his body almost completely covered in snow. He carries a cheeky expression and holds Old Spice products in the bottom right side of the picture. The man is in excellent physical shape and is quite handsome. Mustafa’s body has been turned into a mountain scene. Men are attempting to scale him to the top of the “mountain,” where one man has reached “success” by placing a flag at the top. People are skiing and snowboarding off of his body and sledding down it. On the right side we see a ski resort, complete with a woman in a bikini standing in a hot tub. There is a ski lift and what appears to be polar bears pulling a sleigh. On the left side we see that the abominable snowman has appeared out of a cave and is chasing two men. One person is rolling down Mustafa’s shoulder in a giant snowball. At the bottom of the page the viewer sees the words “Make your man one of the freshest smelling places on earth. Old Spice.”

The magazine is originally found in People magazine, but in order to get it online, I searched google images as I do not have a scanner. The advertisement is specifically geared towards women since it says "your man," but the message is also for men, because there is the implication that Old Spice products make a man more desirable.The message to these women is clear. A men can smell as fresh as natural mountain air if he wears Old Spice. Aside from the spoken message, there are plenty of subliminal messages used to sell the product. Using a handsome, well-formed man implies that using the product will make any woman’s man just like the man in the picture. And when one explores further, it is evident that the activities taking place on this “mountain of a man” are “manly” activities, such as mountain climbing, snow boarding, and exploring caves. Perhaps any man could ski off of the very top of a mountain peak if he wore Old Spice. The word “success” at the very top also implies that success can be achieved through the wearing of this product. The great thing about this ad is that it speaks to either gender. Though the advertisement speaks directly to women and their desires, men are also targeted by this advertisement. The idea that a woman wants a man just like this one speaks to the other sex. Men may want their girlfriend to see them as manly and equate them to Mustafa. They may want women to think that they are “manly men” and can do anything this man, or any of the men in the advertisement can do. Maybe a single man could get a girl if he was like this. Could wearing Old Spice be the first step to becoming more of a “man?”

Elements of an Effective Layout

The analytical tool here is the elements of an effective layout, which are balance, proportion, movement, unity, clarity and simplicity, and emphasis. Combining all of these elements together when making a print ad helps the ad to be more effective and understanding to the viewer. The different elements all apply to the advertisement I chose, because each element is present in a way in my ad. Some of these elements are more obvious to detect than others, but I do plan to show in my paper how the ad follows these elements and is therefore an effective layout and an effective ad.

I think balance, unity, and clarity and simplicity are the most important elements when it comes to advertising. I also think it is important that the balance not be completely symmetrical so the image still has life and is interesting and lively. As the article says, informal balance makes the advertisement exciting and original and forceful. Unity is important because the ad must make sense together. Even if there is more than one component or image in the advertisement, it needs to make sense to the overall message. It needs to feel like one piece rather than a bunch of separate pieces crammed together. It all needs to tie in together. And simplicity and clarity is perhaps the most important, with the focus being on clarity. The message needs to make sense to the viewer. What the ad is trying to say should be clear and should not need an interpreter to figure out. The average person needs to be able to understand what is going on and connect both text and picture to the thought and product being sold. I feel that all of the elements are really important. I think that taking any of the elements out makes for a weaker ad, so I would be unable to say that I think any are the least important elements.

I do think all of the elements were fairly easy to understand, and they do not ruin anything for me when it comes to advertising. I have taken art history once in high school and once in college. This article is very much like the principles of design that are applied to art, which I have studied before. In a way I feel advertisements are a form of art, and it is only natural that these elements be applied to their layout.

Democracy of Goods

The article talks about the technique employed in the Ladies Home Journal in September 1929. It shows a rich family and details how Livingston Ludlow Biddle III is taken care of and given all the best life has to offer. His family is rich and can afford absolutely anything and he is a little boy of priviledge. However, Mrs. Biddle gives her son Cream of Wheat for breakfast and supper. It claims that the world's foremost child experts know no better diet, and it just so happens that Cream of Wheat is something everyone can afford. The article states that democracy is equal access to consumer products and describes ways in which different products were advertised showing that "any woman can" and "every home can afford" the products. It makes the product available and desireable to absolutely everyone, from the richest of the rich to the poorest of the poor. The idea is that even if a person had all the money in the world, they would still be purchasing the same thing they are buying today. This technique is still employed today. The ad that most obviously comes to mind is "The Most Interesting Man Alive" advertisements for Dos Equis. He doesn't usually drink beer, but when he does, he drinks that beer. He can do anything and everyone wants to be around him or be like him. But he drinks a beer that everyone can afford. It can be applied in my ad because even attractive men who are football players and actors, "man's men" use Old Spice. Out of all the products in the world, the Old Spice guy uses Old Spice to be the man that all women want to smell like.

Advertising

The advertisement that I found effective is one I saw while watching one of my favorite television shows. The ad was for XBOX. In it you see a teenager who has just opened a present. It is a plate with a gold Christmas design on it. He holds it up with a forced smile and says, "I love it.. how did you know?" The camera focuses on two grandmotherly women sitting on the couch across from him and one leans to the other and says, "Great job. Teens are so hard to buy for." 

The commercial changes to a picture of an XBOX. 

The commercial is effective because it incorporates humor into the advertisement, as well as being relatable to everyone. Who hasn't received a gift they would never have wanted or had no use for? In fact, it seems that the same people every year give us the same types of gifts and we always pretend we like it even when we don't. We learn to just accept things as they are and look elsewhere for the things we really want. After reminding the viewer of this feeling, it flashes to what the advertisers are trying to convince the viewer that what they do want is an XBOX. It also speaks to the older generation because right after saying that teens are hard to buy for, it shows what teenagers want, which tells them that it really isn't hard to buy for teenagers.

While I do not need an XBOX or have teenagers of my own, I feel that the advertisement was very affective for both the teenage and parent demographics.

The advertisement I felt was ineffective was about corn sugar. In the advertisement the speaker is a father who is carrying his daughter. He is not an expert, just the average parent. He says that he was a little confused about what he had been hearing about high fructose corn syrup, but that he learned from experts that whether its corn sugar or cane sugar, your body can't tell the difference. Sugar is sugar. Then it says learn more at cornsugar.com. 

The reason this seems ineffective is that for quite some time. The message that high fructose corn syrup and artificial sweeteners are bad for you has been pounded into our heads over and over again, and from some highly reputable sources. It has been said that your body reacts differently to this kind of sugar due to how it is processed. So for a commercial to be refuting these claims, it would seem that the commercial is quite short. The claim is that sugar is sugar. It would have been more effective to include who the experts were or include statistics or reasons of proof. Most people are probably not going to go to the website to learn more, and the ad isn't all that convincing. An average person just says it is okay after all the expert research we have seen that says it isn't. A little more information should have been given for those who are unable or unwilling to delve further into the issue. The idea that corn sugar is bad has become part of our belief system, so to change that belief, the claim has to be strong in order to inspire a change. Now had the commercial shown a scientist making the same claim, perhaps the commercial would have felt a little more forceful.

I can't say it turned me off to the product altogether, I just feel that it was too weak of a commercial for the kind of claim it was trying to make. There has to be a very good reason for us to change our beliefs. This is why I feel it was ineffective.

Persuasive Essay Summary

My thesis is: "However, there is no better option for a three to six year old child than a preschool." It shows that I will be proving how there are no better options than preschool for pre-kindergarten children. The main points of the paper are the introduction, which I introduce with a question to spark interest in the reader, the differences between home daycare and stay at home parenting, the definition and benefits of daycares, the definition of preschools, educational benefits of preschools, social benefits of preschools, learning in ways that are interesting for a child, and the conclusion. My counter arguments come with presenting the options of daycare, care with family, and stay at home parents. I explain each option, then explain why preschools are better. Another counter argument is the fact that hours are shorter for preschools than with daycares. I acknowledged this but then showed that many preschools have an afternoon daycare option that extends hours for working parents. Another issue is parents who put too much pressure on their children and forget that learning is supposed to be about them and supposed to be fun. I stressed the importance of the learning process and having children love to learn. I stated that children learn better when they enjoy what they are doing that simply stating facts and making them memorize information.

Research, Research, Research

Works Cited:

Kanter, Beth. "Why Preschool Matters." Parents - Pregnancy, Babies, Baby
         Names, Pregnancy Calendar, Ovulation, Birth & More. Web. 24 Oct. 2011. 
         <http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/starting-
         preschool/curriculum/why-preschoolmatters/.>

"Preschool vs. Daycare: What's the Difference?" Pregnancy Info: Birth, Baby,
         and Maternity Advice. Web. 24 Oct. 2011. <http://www.pregnancy-
         info.net/preschool_and_daycare.html.>

"Day Care Centers and Preschools - FamilyEducation.com." Family Life, Child
         Development, Nutrition, Teen Health & School Safety -
         FamilyEducation.com. Web. 24 Oct. 2011.
        <http://life.familyeducation.com/working-parents/child-
         care/40375.html.>

First Business. "Day Care or Preschool? It's Not Just Semantics - Business First."
         Business News - The Business Journals. Web. 24 Oct. 2011.
        <http://www.bizjournals.com/buffalo/stories/2003/07/14/focus6.html.>

"Pre-school: Statistics, What to Expect, Benefits of." MamasHealth.com: Simple,
        Easy to Understand Information about Health. Web. 24 Oct. 2011.
       <http://www.mamashealth.com/child/preschoolfacts.asp.>

Style

I feel that I do explain too much. I try to get my point across, but I think perhaps I could do this in a shorter fashion and remove the wordiness from my papers. This can go hand in hand with not overwriting. I think that if I edit my papers more thoroughly, I can rid it of a lot of redundancy and things that do not need to be stated, such as things like “she said” and “he said.” This goes against how I have always written, and that is to go into detail as if I am writing a paper to someone who knows nothing. This is something I will have to work on.

Another thing I need to work on is avoiding the use of qualifiers. I know that I use words like very and little quite a bit, and I think I could correct this if my words are strong enough to express what I mean. In doing this, I will have to avoid using fancy words by just using what is appropriate to the context I am writing about.

Other than that, I feel that I have heard most of these rules in the past, and try to implement them into my papers. I think revising and rewriting is the one thing I am best at. I always do this no matter what. I normally just sit down and write my rough draft, which is very rough. I then tear it up with a red pen, reorganizing and rewording things as I go along. I read it as if I am reading someone else’s paper. I think that keeping these rules in mind as I edit my work will go a long way in improving the quality of my writing.

Effective Argument

Who's he addressing?
Martin Luther King is officially addressing his fellow clergyman. However, it is clear that he also means this letter to address the world in general regarding the state of the world at this time.

What is he addressing?He is addressing claims and complaints that his protests were unwise and untimely. They felt that King did not give the new administration time to act. Some of the clergy also felt his actions were inappropriate and that he knew what he was doing would incite violence.

What is the tone he's using to address these people? The letter is both passionate but controlled. He speaks eloquently about these allegations and addresses all the complaints using ethos, pathos, and logos. His tone in general seems to be at times angry and at times disappointed, but his passion for what he is saying is undeniable. It is clear he is disgusted of the treatment of his people and he is demanding change. He is controlled in what he says and though he spends time discussing why he is upset and who he feels is responsible for the lack of change, his tone remains calm and he counteracts what could be a scathing letter with words of kindness. He is trying to bring out the compassion in people.

Taking all that together—audience, purpose, tone, context—what in it is effective? One thing that makes this letter so effective is how easy it is to understand. King makes himself both relatable and understandable. The letter could be just as easily understood today by the common man as it could back then.

It is also very effective how he takes each point that is made to critique his action and breaks down his reasoning. He reminds the clergy that though they show they deplore the actions taken in Birmingham, they have not shown similar emotion for the things that brought about the demonstrations. He makes his point undeniable when he says, “I am sure that none of you would want to rest content with the superficial kind of social analysis that deals merely with effects and does not grapple with underlying causes.”

He reminds the clergy of why he is doing what he is doing. He says that though he is breaking a law, there is a difference between just an unjust laws and goes on to define what makes a law unjust. He uses a quote from the philosopher St. Thomas Aquinas: “An unjust law is a human law that is not rooted in eternal law and natural law. Any law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust.”

He is very logical in all of his arguments, showing that none of those involved was unaware of what they were getting themselves into. He reminds them that none of his actions have been paired with violence, and that the sit-in was extremely peaceable. He even waited until after the election to have this demonstration, as he did not want it to affect the results. He therefore shows that this decision was thoroughly thought through before anything was done and that they felt there was no other choice.

Another thing he does well is incite emotion from his fellow man. No matter what the race of the person, King almost demands emotion from them. The following section was full of content that was impossible not to empathise with:
“But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your twenty million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six year old daughter why she can't go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see tears welling up in her eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an answer for a five year old son who is asking: ‘Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean…’”

What's ineffective? One thing that I could see as an issue for the clergy could possibly be his comparison of his actions to Jesus. He says that to say his sit-in could bring about violence would be like condemning Jesus because his actions resulted in the act of him being crucified. He also says he is an extremist like Jesus. I can see the reasons for the comparisons and that perhaps King felt that through this, he comparison could reach the clergy and make them see his logic.

Another thing he is trying to combat racism and the way his brothers and sisters are being treated which was completely terrible. But in referring to white moderates as members of the oppressor race, it seems this could be counterproductive. He feels that it is much more puzzling for someone who thinks this segregation is wrong to do nothing rather than just outright deny that it is wrong. I am not sure that I feel that this is the greater of two evils, but in doing nothing you do deny support to the cause. Your thoughts are pretty irrelevant if not voiced. This reminds me a great deal of groupthink. These moderates did not speak up for fear of backlash from the masses. King also admonishes religious leaders who ask that people follow the desegregation decree because it is law rather than because it is what is right. He also sees this as being passive. While focusing his critiques on those who agree with his cause could be seen as counter-productive, I feel that he was attempting to get some action out of them and make them see that their action was needed and it would take the voice of many to end the desegregation fully rather than just a few.

Where does he utilize logical fallacies?He does utilize logical fallacies, but they seem to have a place in the letter as they are paired with logical arguments. There were quite a few and he uses quite a few false analogies and hasty generalizations. Below are some that I noticed:

He compares his compulsion to carry the gospel of freedom beyond his home town to Paul and Jesus, “Just as the prophets of the eighth century B.C. left their villages and carried their "thus saith the Lord" far beyond the boundaries of their home towns, and just as the Apostle Paul left his village of Tarsus and carried the gospel of Jesus Christ to the far corners of the Greco Roman world, so am I compelled to carry the gospel of freedom beyond my own home town. Like Paul, I must constantly respond to the Macedonian call for aid.”

This statement seemed somewhat like a slippery slope to me. It is saying that if in one area there is injustice, it will be everywhere. That whatever affects one affects all. “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. Never again can we afford to live with the narrow, provincial "outside agitator" idea. Anyone who lives inside the United States can never be considered an outsider anywhere within its bounds.”

This statement to me was kind of like an either-or fallacy. It did not specifically say either these demonstrations take place or we will never have freedom, but it does state that there was no alternative. An either-or fallacy states there are only two solutions in a complex situation that could have possible other alternatives. “It is unfortunate that demonstrations are taking place in Birmingham, but it is even more unfortunate that the city's white power structure left the Negro community with no alternative.”

This can be seen as a false analogy, because it compares Socrates’ need for tension in the mind to creating tension in society to rid the world of racism: “Just as Socrates felt that it was necessary to create a tension in the mind so that individuals could rise from the bondage of myths and half truths to the unfettered realm of creative analysis and objective appraisal, so must we see the need for nonviolent gadflies to create the kind of tension in society that will help men rise from the dark depths of prejudice and racism to the majestic heights of understanding and brotherhood.”

This is a hasty generalization: “We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed.” While it is true that freedom is not often voluntarily given, to say that it is never given freely is a hasty generalization.

This is another false analogy: “In your statement you assert that our actions, even though peaceful, must be condemned because they precipitate violence. But is this a logical assertion? Isn't this like condemning a robbed man because his possession of money precipitated the evil act of robbery?”

Where does he make sound logical arguments? He makes many sound logical arguments. His argument on which laws are lawful and which are unlawful was very logical, “How does one determine whether a law is just or unjust? A just law is a man made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law. To put it in the terms of St. Thomas Aquinas: An unjust law is a human law that is not rooted in eternal law and natural law. Any law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust. All segregation statutes are unjust because segregation distorts the soul and damages the personality. It gives the segregator a false sense of superiority and the segregated a false sense of inferiority. Segregation, to use the terminology of the Jewish philosopher Martin Buber, substitutes an "I it" relationship for an "I thou" relationship and ends up relegating persons to the status of things. Hence segregation is not only politically, economically and sociologically unsound, it is morally wrong and sinful. Paul Tillich has said that sin is separation. Is not segregation an existential expression of man's tragic separation, his awful estrangement, his terrible sinfulness? Thus it is that I can urge men to obey the 1954 decision of the Supreme Court, for it is morally right; and I can urge them to disobey segregation ordinances, for they are morally wrong.”

He is also very logical in expressing that saying that the demonstrations had just cause, and that critiquing them ignores the reasons the demonstrations took place: “You deplore the demonstrations taking place in Birmingham. But your statement, I am sorry to say, fails to express a similar concern for the conditions that brought about the demonstrations. I am sure that none of you would want to rest content with the superficial kind of social analysis that deals merely with effects and does not grapple with underlying causes.”
He explains his nonviolent campaign and describes the decision to demonstrate. He explains that they chose their time carefully, waiting until after the election. He also explains they took workshops in nonviolence and asked themselves if they were ready accept the consequences of their actions before they acted. Their demonstration was thought out, logical, and calm. They made sure they were in a correct state of mind before they acted. “In any nonviolent campaign there are four basic steps: collection of the facts to determine whether injustices exist; negotiation; self purification; and direct action. We have gone through all these steps in Birmingham. There can be no gainsaying the fact that racial injustice engulfs this community. Birmingham is probably the most thoroughly segregated city in the United States. Its ugly record of brutality is widely known. Negroes have experienced grossly unjust treatment in the courts. There have been more unsolved bombings of Negro homes and churches in Birmingham than in any other city in the nation. These are the hard, brutal facts of the case. On the basis of these conditions, Negro leaders sought to negotiate with the city fathers. But the latter consistently refused to engage in good faith negotiation.”

How does he balance the ethos, pathos and logos parts of his argument?His argument is very logical, and he made many logical arguments, including those mentioned in the previous question. His letter is logical and consistent and well thought out.

He also uses pathos in calling for justice. He reminds the people of all the atrocities that have been brought about by the segregation in Birmingham. He makes the reader feel sympathetic to the cause, which is very affective, as I mentioned earlier in this blog entry. He appeals to the masses and mentions that all races are involved and responsible for desegregation. There is a great deal of emotional appeal in this letter. “But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your twenty million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six year old daughter why she can't go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television…”

He brings to mind ethos quite often in bringing up Aquinus, Jefferson, Paul, Jesus, and many others. By playing off of their wide-spread popularity with the masses and the overall acceptance of people that they are good, he relates himself to them. He explains what is morally right and wrong. He shows he is credible by his tone and all that he says is reasonable to the common man. He establishes credibility by reminding the people that he is also clergy and they all should want the same thing. He states his beliefs and compares them to what the clergy believes, claiming that this is one and the same.

I believe we see a great deal of all three throughout the letters. I believe they are all necessary for a proper argument because they balance each other out. For example, if the letter was not logical, his emotional appeals would have been seen as mere emotion and been less effective. If the letter had not been logical, we may have questioned how ethical some of the things he said were. The use of all three of these together is what makes this letter so effective.

And, perhaps most importantly, how can you utilize any of this in your paper? It is definitely important to play on logos, pathos, and ethos in order to form a proper argument. I will make sure I incorporate that into my paper. I also see that there is a place for logical fallacies from time to time if they are backed with solid arguments and explanations. It feels as though King intentionally included them to further a sense of urgency to his reader. King is also very organized in what he has to say, and thought his letter out carefully. This organization is important in keeping the reader on track about what he is trying to say.

Logical Fallacies

Bandwagon appeals. Example: Everyone else drinks and drives, so I can too.

We do see a lot of examples of drinking and driving in this day and age. Celebrities are constantly in the media for getting DUIs, and we see people leaving bars all the time who we know should not be driving. It seems that everyone drives themselves after having a few drinks, so we can too. It seems like there is no harm in it. However, we know what can happen when people drink and drive. The worst case scenario would be killing an innocent person, but jail time is also probable when committing this crime. And after the first offense, consequences become a lot more serious than just a night in jail. The reality is that there probably are quite a few people who drink and drive, but not everyone does it. And even if it did, this does not make it right. Regardless of how often it is done by other people, the risks do not become less. In fact, the more people that do, the more dangerous the streets are for everyone else. Everyone else really isn't doing it, and it is not the right thing to do.

Polarization. Example: All Christians are crazy.

Just as the file states, polarization is very much like name calling. Calling all Christians crazy is definitely an exaggeration and a way of representing them that is extreme. No one can deny that there are "Christians" that most people would consider crazy. One example of this would be the Phelps family. Their message and tactics are ones that most Christians would consider offensive, and yet they still calls themselves Christians. They picket funerals, make small children stand on the streets holding signs depicting sexual acts, and insult many of the people they come in contact with. Most people consider them extreme and crazy, and perhaps not even consider them to be Christian. However, just because the Phelps family is extreme does not mean that all Christians behave this way. In fact, the vast majority do not. We would consider them just as normal as any other person on the street. Generalizing everyone to be one way is not only completely not factual, but ignorant.

Rationalization. Example: I wouldn't have been late to work if I hadn't hit all the stoplights on the way.

This is a weak excuse, one your boss has probably heard a hundred times. Everyone else at your job had the potential to hit the same lights, but they were on time. The reality is that you probably either woke up late, or took to long to get ready. Perhaps you would have been on time if you hadn't hit that last light, but it was your fault for cutting it that close in the first place. If a few lights made you late, that meant you left absolutely no margin for error, and need to leave the house earlier. It is not the stoplight's fault or traffic's fault, because there is no one to blame for being late but yourself. And someone who makes an excuse as weak as this tends to chronically face the same issue. Avoid the issue in the future by leaving the house ten minutes sooner, and you will not be late.

Topic!

The topic I chose to write about is that preschools are the best placement option for pre-kindergarten children. Other options include home daycares and staying home yourself with your children. I chose this because it is an issue very personal to me. I would have loved to have been able to stay home with my son, and I do think it is a wonderful thing if you are able to do this when a child is first born. However, once a child hits the age of 3, they qualify for preschool services. This is the best option because staff are well trained in a preschool facility, there is a structure provided for these kids that is absolutely crucial at this age, and pre-kindergarten training is provided. The federal Child & Adult Care Food Program (CACFP) provides guidelines for serving nutritious meals and snacks in child care centers and afterschool programs. My stance is that children who have been in preschool programs are better prepared for kindergarten.

While keeping your children at home allows you more time with them, which just about every parent wants, the interactions with other kids are fewer and the curriculum provided to the child is not as regimented. Preschool programs work with trial and error and are put into place based on countless hours of research.

Home daycares may provide more structure and interactions with other children, but are also less beneficial to children than a preschool. Having had my child in a home daycare prior to enrolling him in preschool, the differences in his learning progress were truly amazing.

There is a lot of great information out there to support my claim so that my argument can be based more on facts than my personal experience and opinion. A lot of my research will be from this website: http://preschoolmatters.org/

When Your Opinion Matters

I do find myself from time to time wishing that I had said something different. Most of the time this happens during the heat of the moment in a fight. However, I do find myself in positions where my opinion is considered important on almost a daily basis at work. The most recent of these times was Friday. I work as Warranty Administrator at a car dealership, and anything warranty related goes through me before it is submitted. A customer just out of warranty on their vehicle by only a matter of a couple months. The issue with the vehicle was one the customer had faced before. For situations like this, many dealerships have after Warranty Assistance through the motor company itself, where they will pay for certain repairs for a slightly extended period of time. The sales manager who had sold the customer the vehicle agreed to pay for half of the repair, but we were still looking at $400 of our budget on one vehicle. I made the suggestion to mark the labor dollar amount down to cost so that we used none of our after warranty assistance money. We would make no profit on the labor, but there would still be profit to our department from the parts that were installed on the vehicle. It was decided that my decision was a better alternative, because that money could be needed for bigger repairs in the future. Therefore, people did listen to me and my opinion mattered in this instance.

Muddiest Point

The only thing I am really struggling with is what exactly I am going to name as my topic. I think it would have been nice to have some basic examples to go off of so that picking a topic was easier. There are so many things to choose from, so I think that some boundaries could also have been helpful. Other than that, I feel that the assignment is very clear and explained well. The overview walked us through how exactly to format the assignment. Once I pick a topic, I feel that I will be able to adequately complete the assignment.

One More Personal Narrative - Notaro

Does the writer provide an introduction that grabs the reader’s attention?

The introduction is grabbing, if for no other reason than its format is so different than you normally see on a narrative. The first paragraph is only one sentence. We do wonder what the writer is talking about and what basket has been passed. It is sort of a nice change from the large blocks of text that normally make up an introduction. We continue reading and wonder what obligation the writer is in for.

Does the writer focus on significant events in his or her life rather than trying to narrate his or her entire life’s story?

The story focuses on her grandfather's illness and the resulting mayhem. It is obvious the writer's grandfather is an interesting character, and this event in particular helps us to see just who he is.

Do the descriptions of the characters or important objects in the memoirs include sensory details that help readers to visualize, hear, smell or feel them?

There aren't many details that allow us to smell. There are some visual details that help us to envision the scene, but the dominant sensory detail is the ability to hear the characters he describes. There is quite a bit of dialogue that allows us the ability to picture his grandfather. Most of us have at least had run ins with people like that, and many have family members like that ourselves. We can see this man as outspoken and loud, having an opinion on everything, and not taking no for an answer. You can almost hear him berating the grocery store workers, and I had to laugh at imagining the workers clearing out when they saw him coming.

Has the writer quoted speech or dialogue so as to reveal some important aspect of a character’s personality?

Dialogue is abundant in this narrative, especially between the writer and Pop Pop. It clearly reveals both of their personalities.

Does the writer narrate or describe events in a way that allows readers to connect them to experiences or relationships in their own lives?

If we haven't watched a scene like this unfold, chances are we have encountered someone like Notaro's grandfather. I related this because I worked at a grocery store once. You began to recognize customers, and knew the ones that would give you a hard time. There are always people trying to tell you how to do your job, and it makes you question why they don't just do it themselves. I also have family members who are very opinionated in this way. While they never actually berate the workers or say anything negative while in the store, I usually have to hear about what they did wrong when we leave. This narrative was very entertaining.

Has the writer explained the significance of the people, events, places, or objects in shaping who he or she has become? Does this explanation make sense in relation to the events, people, places, and things described throughout the memoir?

I don't know that I feel this narrative described an experience who shaped who the writer has become. But you can see that the author and Pop Pop are close and know each other well. Notaro knows exactly how her grandmother is going to respond to the haul. I think that the focus is less on this particular incident and more on her Pop Pop himself. This incident simply serves to paint a clear picture of who he is, and is more significant to her grandfather than to herself. However, we see that she got to be a part of what is undoubtedly one of the more significant outings her grandfather had. We get the feeling that this experience bonded them, and will be retold time and time again. It was memorable for them both.

Does the writer provide a conclusion that reinforces the point of the story?

The fact that the writer tells her grandfather that his wife is going to be mad, and he just laughs reinforces the relationships that have been described throughout the narratives. Pop Pop does what he wants because that's just who he is, and no matter how strange his actions are, they all love him anyway. For me it served as sort of a reminder that no matter who you encounter, remember that they are or have been loved. They have family and feelings and everyone should be treated with care, no matter what the situation is.

Another Personal Narrative - White

Does the writer provide an introduction that grabs the reader’s attention?

The introduction is not really grabbing per se, but it is interesting. We can see that the reader has not been to Maine in a long time, and that he now prefers salt water to fresh water. He notes that there is no place like Maine, and since we recognize the time since he has been, we wonder what could be so special about this place. The only positive things he notes about the trip is the placidity of the water and that the trip was a success. The reader wonders what could be so successful about ringworm and ending up in the water with clothing on. Despite all of this, the writer still feels a strong urge to return to the place of his childhood trips. So I was interested to continue reading.

Does the writer focus on significant events in his or her life rather than trying to narrate his or her entire life’s story?

The writer does focus on a series of significant events in his life. The narrative revolved around a trip to Maine with his son, where he reflected on how things were similar and different from the way they used to be.

Do the descriptions of the characters or important objects in the memoirs include sensory details that help readers to visualize, hear, smell or feel them?

This narrative is absolutely packed with sensory details. You can hear, smell, feel, and see all of the details of this trip almost as if it is first hand. The writer includes a great deal of descriptive adjectives in his narrative, which allow the reader's mind to be swept off to this haven.

Has the writer quoted speech or dialogue so as to reveal some important aspect of a character’s personality?

The writer does not include speech or dialogue, but the focus is not on individual characters neccesarily, aside from himself and his son. He reveals them to seem like one and the same and reflects on how he is viewing his son as if it is he himself that he is watching. He reveals how he somehow has turned into his father, but that the feeling he gets from this place is the same. Their location is the focus, and he spends most of his time painting a picture of Maine for the reader.

Does the writer narrate or describe events in a way that allows readers to connect them to experiences or relationships in their own lives?

The story is definitely relatable, despite the timeline the story provides for us. This all happened so long ago, but so many of us can remember taking trips with their family as kids. It is a strange feeling when we realize that we have turned into our parents and how so many of the things we say and do we remember from our parents when we were kids. The focus is on this place, but we can all relate to vivid memories and reliving our past. Some of us have even taken our kids back to the places from our past, and it is a joy to watch them interact with the same things we remember interacting with as kids. Even if the reader did not take trips as a kids, we can all see how things have changed from when we were children, and how some things have not changed at all.

Has the writer explained the significance of the people, events, places, or objects in shaping who he or she has become? Does this explanation make sense in relation to the events, people, places, and things described throughout the memoir?

The significance of this place to the writer is obvious. We can see how the writer's memories of the place as a child and the present trip all blur into one. Taking the trip back to Maine allows the writer to relive his childhood, but through different eyes. He has become his father and he seems to realize how his father must have felt, and why they continued to make that trip year after year. We have a sense that this trip will not be a one time event for White. He describes the changes that he notices in this place, but for him they do not matter. It is still the same place. The changes remind us that we are in the present, and make him realize his place as the patriarch in the family rather than the boy.

Does the writer provide a conclusion that reinforces the point of the story?

I thought the ending of the story was a little odd. However, it did reinforce the point of the story. He was reliving his childhood through his boy to the point of almost being able to feel a chill he was not experiencing himself. His son was having the same trip that he had as a boy. We realize that time passes and changes so many things, but that not everything changes.

Diving into Personal Narratives - Sedaris

Does the writer provide an introduction that grabs the reader’s attention?

To be honest, I was not all that interested in the rest of the narrative after reading the introduction. I could see the humor in a forty-one year old having discounts for movies, puppets, and amusement parks, but I felt it was a little unspecific. I was unsure of where Sedaris was attending school, why he was attending school, and what his textbook considered a "true debutant" to be. However, after the first paragraph, the reader is quickly able to get into the story.

Does the writer focus on significant events in his or her life rather than trying to narrate his or her entire life’s story?

He focused mainly on his time in his French class in Paris, with minimal commentary on events outside of the classroom. These events served to emphasize how out of his element the writer was with this new language.

Do the descriptions of the characters or important objects in the memoirs include sensory details that help readers to visualize, hear, smell or feel them?

I cannot visualize his teacher, except that she was tan. However, I had a distinct sense of who she was and I could almost hear her abusing the students. He describes his fellow students as well, and we can form a picture of who they might be. He does not include many details on physical appearance, but instead focuses on each person's background and gives an account of how they present themselves to the class. His descriptions of them seem to be a little fuzzy in order to emphasize how lost he felt at the time. He could not understand all of what was being said, and they were all struggling to come up with things to say that not only answered the questions, but that they could actually say adequately. In this way, the focus becomes the teacher and how crazy she was.

Has the writer quoted speech or dialogue so as to reveal some important aspect of a character’s personality?

The writer quoted quite a bit of speech, which revealed important aspects of each character's personality.

Does the writer narrate or describe events in a way that allows readers to connect them to experiences or relationships in their own lives?

After what I felt was a slow start, I was definitely drawn into the story. Many people can relate to having a teacher who is overly harsh. And all of us at one point have been out of our element. As more and more of the teacher's character is revealed, the reader connects more and more to the narrative.

Has the writer explained the significance of the people, events, places, or objects in shaping who he or she has become? Does this explanation make sense in relation to the events, people, places, and things described throughout the memoir?

The reader shows us that the abuse he suffered from this teacher makes his desire to learn greater. He realizes towards the end of the narrative that he can at least understand all of what the teacher is saying, rather than just bits and pieces. The teacher made him study harder and become more desperate to prove his worth in the French language. This explanation does make sense, as all of the preceding text leads us up to this point.  

Does the writer provide a conclusion that reinforces the point of the story?

The conclusion does reinforce the point of the story. The abuse of the teacher resulted in Sedaris working harder to learn the language. He finds that he can understand all of what the teacher is saying, and even welcomes more abuse so he can learn more.

Sentence Variety

Original Paragraph:

Sam got in her car. She drove to the mall. She went to the shoe store. She bought a pair of boots. She bought a shoeshine kit. Sam went to the food court. She bought a burrito. The burrito had onions and peppers on it. Sam ate the burrito. Sam saw a cute boy. He was at the pretzel stand. The boy looked at Sam. Sam blushed. The boy walked over to Sam. Sam said hi. The boy wrinkled up his nose. Sam was confused. Sam said hi again. The boy gagged. The boy walked away. Sam was shocked. Sam realized she had bad breath. Sam ran to the bathroom. Sam cried. She put on her new boots. She shined her new boots. Sam walked out of the bathroom. Sam was confident. Sam found the boy. Sam told him he needed manners. Sam kicked him. She used her new boots. The boy fell to the ground. Sam walked away. Sam walked out of the mall.

Rewritten Paragraph:

Sam got in her car to go to the shoe store at the mall. When she arrived, she bought a pair of boots and a shoeshine kit. Sam then went to the food court where she ate a burrito with onions and peppers. After she finished eating, Sam saw a cute boy at the pretzel stand. Sam blushed when the boy looked at her, and so he walked over to her. Sam was very confused, because when she said hi the boy wrinkled up his nose. So she said hi again. Sam was shocked that the boy gagged and walked away. She then realized she had bad breath and ran to the bathroom to cry. Sam put on her new boots, shined them, and walked out of the bathroom with confidence. After finding the boy again, Sam told him he needed manners. She kicked him with her new boots, and he fell to the ground. Sam turned and walked out of the mall.

Mechanics

I have the most trouble with keeping related words together. I normally write based on what sounds and feels natural to me, rather than consciously placing my words together. Rule 20 explains that badly placed words result in confusion and ambiguity. Some of the sections within this rule come naturally to me, such as not placing phrases or clauses in between the noun and the verb. However, placing a relative pronoun after its antecedent is something that I will have to make a conscience effort to do. In order to become better at my weak point and to make sentences that are more concise, I will pay special attention to the structure of my sentences and remember these rules.

The principle that I am strongest at is keeping to one tense. Before I begin writing, I take note of what tense I will be using in my paper. I then take a mental note of which words not to use, and therefore keeping with one tense becomes easier.

Summary Revision Checklist

1. What is the thesis statement? Is it an accurate reflection of the author’s thesis statement? Is it stated in your own words? How could you refine it to be more clear and concise? 

Zinsser’s essay reveals to parents the four main ailments that college students today face, which are economic, parental, peer, and self-induced pressures.

It is in my own words. I feel that it is a little long, but that all of the information is neccesary for the thesis statement.

2. How is the essay introduced? Do you mention the article’s title, author, purpose and audience? Does it clearly set the tone for the paper and accurately reflect what is discussed therein? Could it be improved?

I introduced the essay by relating it to the reader of my summary. I mentioned the article, author, purpose, and audience. It clearly discusses what the paper will include.

3. What are the main points of the summary? How do you recognize them? Do you leave out minor points and repetitive points for emphasis? Most importantly, do you leave out your own opinion, feelings or conclusions on the subject of the article?

It was organized as follows: Introduction, including thesis, economic pressures, parental pressures, peer pressures, self-induced pressures, and conclusion. I covered only the main points form the essay and was not repetitive. I feel that I did not include any of my own opinions, but rather covered the points the author was trying to make. My own feelings and conclusions are left out of the summary.

4. How is the essay organized? Does it follow the organization of the original article? What transitions do you use? Think of some additional possibilities for more logical organization.

The essay is organized by introduction, which included the thesis, the four main points, and then a conclusion. The pressures were stated in order as found in the original essay. I feel I took steps to make sure that each paragraph flowed into the next.

5. After your reading, can you say the thesis statement accurately reflects the topic and focus of the essay? How is the essay concluded? What technique do you employ in the conclusion? How is that effective or not?

Yes. The essay is concluded by discussing the point Zinsser made with the essay, which was his final conclusion. I did not simply repeat information, and therefore I feel that my conclusion was effective.

6. Make sure to fix any major grammar, spelling, or punctuation errors.

This is done.

7. Is the sentence structure varied and interesting? Do you have any weak, overly wordy, awkward, or confusing sentences? Does the essay strive to use active, direct, present tense verbs?

I went through my paper and reworded a few of the repetitiveness and awkward sentences. I feel this gave it a much better flow.

8. Were the textual passages (quotes and paraphrases) well-chosen? Remember you should try avoiding direct quotations when writing a summary.

Only a partial sentence was directly quoted, and the rest was all put into my own words.

9. Is the essay written in third-person? Are all instances of first- and second-person removed from the piece?

Yes, they are.

10. Is the draft two to three (2-3) pages typed, double-spaced? Are all the margins one inch (1”)?

My answer is yes to all of the above questions.

Blog Post #4: "College Pressures"

First and foremost, I would say that I have dealt with economic pressures in college. Going to school is no easy task when you are paying for it yourself, and I have the added pressure of having to work full time to support myself and my son, as I am a single mother. Even though I am covering my tuition with student loans, those loans will have to be paid back someday. Therefore, they are continuously looming overhead, even when I would like to forget them. I just have to hope and pray that whatever job I attain after college comes with a nice enough salary to pay them off without being too financially stressed. I do full a great deal of pressure to succeed, because I know that if I don't, I have landed myself in a heap of debt for no reason. I worry a lot about the future and what comes after I graduate. At times, I even fear graduation because that marks the beginning of a new life. I know it to be a life that will reflect my academic performance, for better or for worse.

Thankfully, I never really had to deal with parental pressures when it came to college. I have wonderful parents who never once have tried to live their lives through me or pressure me into doing something I don't want to do. They emphasize the fact that this is all my choice, and that I can be whatever I want to be in life. They are a great support system to me, even if my dad does like to throw in a little dig every once in awhile about how crooked many politicians become.

I feel that I am slightly past the age of having peer pressures. The only time I ever had a roommate in college was my freshman year at the University of Kansas, and she ended up being a dropout. She was also never home, so I never worried about what she was or wasn't doing with her studies. I am currently twenty five, and most of my peers are either done with college, or didn't go to college. I can look at that in one of two ways. I can feel inadequate, because I am still attending college. If I had never taken time off, I would have been done with law school by now. I could be in a career I like, or even love. At this point, I will likely be thirty by the time I am done with school. Occasionally, I let my mind go into self-pity mode and lament my choices. However, I prefer the more positive outlook. So many people I know either did not go to college, and are stuck at low paying jobs. I have many friends who are single mothers, who have no desire to go to school, and are happy with their position in life. I feel proud of myself for going after my dreams. So, I do not really worry about my peers. I worry about myself and my own progress.

I also try not to worry about what society tells me is the right thing to do, or the right thing to be. I have wanted to be a lawyer since I was in middle school. There was never any other choice for me. It had nothing to do with salary or power, but rather the ability to use my mind. I love the idea of presenting an argument, and at the same time negating your opponent's. It is like a game of the minds. You have to think of what your opponent is going to say before they say it, disprove it, then prove your own points. You also have to think of ways they can disprove what you are going to say, and counteract that. It is a profession that scares me and thrills me, and I can't wait to be able to be a part of it.

My largest pressure currently aside from economic pressures is just pressures related to time. This does include work. As I said before, I do have to work full time in order to support my family. At my current job, I work 8 am to 5 pm, Monday through Friday. Most of my upper level classes are not online, and not available as night or weekend classes. A deadline is getting closer and closer in my mind, and I know I'm going to have to figure out how to manage life with another job. I'm also fully aware that I am not going to be able to work in law school. Every time I allow myself to think about it, I feel a sense of panic coming on. In order to deal with all of these pressures, I try to just take it day by day, and hope for the best. It is easy to let pressure get to you and allow it to doubt yourself and everything you are doing. Unfortunately, in the past, some of these issues have affected my college performance. I have learned from the past and learned from the things I am doing, and I know that I have to make school a priority second only to my son. I take things as they come, class by class, and I do not allow myself to become overwhelmed. Controlling my mind in this way is definitely a work in progress, and I grow better at it each day. No matter what happens, I know I will succeed because I will never give up.

Blog Post #3: "University Days"

I first have to note that I really enjoyed James Thurber's "University Days." There were a couple of times I actually laughed out loud. Thurber had a way of describing things that made the reader put themselves in his shoes. And I am realizing how much I have missed reading. I have always loved English and Literature classes because you are assigned to read things that you never would have read otherwise, but find that you really enjoyed. All of that aside, I have to say that I haven't really struggled in any immense way with any college course I have taken so far. The closest of these would have to be College Algebra. Up until now, almost all of the college courses I have taken so far have been online.

However, my first semester at college was when I was 18, and only a college freshman. I was completely oblivious to the way that universities sometimes use Teaching Assistants to teach courses, due to the numbers of students that had to take these introductory courses. I entered my College Algebra class and learned that my instructor was from Africa and spoke French. I also realized I could only understand about every other word she said. She sometimes would stop and ask us what word she was thinking of. We had no idea. I felt pretty terrible that I couldn't understand her, but it also definitely did not help that she had such a soft voice. It is important to note that math has never really been my strong point. I can definitely learn it if I pay attention and really focus on it, but it has always been my subject of least interest. So this class was an unfortunate combination of the instructor's inability to communicate with us, and my lack of inclination to take the initiative to dig into the text myself. Soon after beginning the class, I realized that I was pretty much trying to teach myself math. I would sit in class and stare at the teacher and what she was writing on the board, and try my hardest to understand her. Occasionally, I would look up and realize that my classmates seemed to be having the same dilemma. I ended up having to re-take the class, and interestingly enough, I took it online. Which meant I was again pretty much teaching myself math from the text books. Thankfully, this time I got through it by sheer willpower, and am officially done with all required math courses. I am thankful not to have to repeat the experience again.

Blog Post #2: "On Keeping a Notebook"

I found Joan Didion's essay to be very interesting. A notebook is incredibly personal in my opinion. When she describes hers, we find that it probably would not make sense to other people. In fact, the people in her life strongly disagree with what she says at times, and other times simply question the details. She writes little blurbs of information that seem to make no sense, but when she thinks about it, she remembers a time that was important to her. She remembers her frame of mind and how she felt. She remembers who she was. We all change so much over time. I do not currently keep a notebook, but I did for a couple of years when I was a moody pre-teen. I recently looked back over what I wrote, and I realized that I am a completely different person now. How nice it would be to have my biggest woes of the time be my only cares! Keeping a diary at the time felt like an expression of myself. It was not intended for others to read, but was rather an outlet for all that I was feeling. Therefore, I do not believe that keeping a notebook is narcissistic.

In a way, I guess it is about keeping in touch with who you once were. It is easy to be swept back to a time in the past when you look over what you wrote in a notebook or diary. I made the decision to throw away my old diaries. Actually, I shredded them. I saw who I used to be and was glad that I had grown into the person I am now. There were some fond memories and thoughts associated with that past, but I no longer found it necessary to keep in touch with my old self. I remember who I was and how I felt. I have a very vivid memory, and remember small details about long ago in my past that keep it all fresh in my mind. There is no need to look to the past, because everything about who I was then and all the decisions a made in my past made me who I am today. I know this.

The great thing about time is that not only do we change as we grow, but so does society and technology. We have this great thing now called social media that did not exist in Didion's world. Or perhaps it is a curse, as it is all the more permanent. Now rather than writing in diaries, we make status updates. We blog. We tweet. In a way, this is quite the same as keeping a notebook. We are expressing ourselves. We share quotes and songs we love, we tell the world how we are feeling, and we tell of great experiences. Maybe we are not as open with the public as we would be in an actual notebook. Maybe we don't share quite as much or share our deeper feelings or secrets. However, I do know those who seem to use Facebook as their notebook. They share all their business, even things that would be best kept in secret. These social media are our outlet to the outside world. It tells our friends and family and those we would like to know just who we are. In a less extreme way, it accomplishes the same thing. I would say that this is much more narcissistic than keeping a notebook in traditional sense, because everything you post is telling the world, "I want you to know this." The great thing is that whether you keep a notebook, or a Facebook, the end result is the same. We still have an outlet to express who we are, and to create memories.

Introduction

Hello! My name is Morgan Brown and I although I am classified as a junior, this is my first Semester at Washburn. I transferred from Allen County Community College, where I completed Associates Degrees in Arts and General Studies. My major is Communications with a Legal Emphasis, and I intend to attend law school after I attain my Bachelor's Degree. I am currently attending school 3/4 time, and will be a full-time student next semester.


I have lived in Topeka my entire life, and graduated from Cair Paravel Latin School in 2004. I have a full time job as Warranty Administrator at Laird Noller Ford, where I have worked for over three years. School and work keep my plenty busy, but I consider the most important part of my life to be my son. I am lucky enough to be mother to a wonderful little boy named Jordan, who will be five in December. He is absolutely wonderful, and my primary motivation in continuing my education. I have been a single mother for a year now, and am finding it very challenging balancing my time between my obligations and what I want to be doing. I spend every moment I have my son spending time with him, and with what little spare time I have I do homework and work overtime. If I manage to find a little extra spare time, I also enjoy volleyball, working out, and just spending time with friends and family.


Previous to formally declaring myself a communications major, I had decided to be an English major. English has always been my favorite subject, because it is the one that comes most naturally to me. I am actually looking forward to this class, and am excited to read some of the literature we have assigned, and get back into the swing of being a full-time student.